No "playing" last night. We were kinda just like a vanilla couple having sex. I know Daddy was concerned because I haven't been feeling well, and my back hurt crazy bad yesterday. (Have this bad sciatic issue) I felt bad because I knew that He really wanted to play. He even told me in a text this afternoon that He misses tying me up and doing things to me and to get better soon.
We also discussed how badly I need to be spanked. Sort of the physical reminder of who I am. Probably some more release as well.
I feel bad being ill and I feel bad because I feel I haven't been a good submissive. Daddy mentioned that I'm very "toppy" when I'm sick. He's very patient, and hasn't said anything, but I wonder if He should have.
I get in this mode of controlling everything around me because I have to and then I'm on a roll and can't stop. How do I slow down? How do I control my thinking? This seems to be an ongoing issue with me. Someone needs to help me stop because clearly I can't do it on my own.
I know Daddy will be upset because I'm beating myself up, but I can't help it.
Now I'm thinking about the non-playing again.....I wonder if Dom's get like submissive's when they don't play. Do they go through some sort of mental thing as well? Withdrawal? I'm curious about that.
We also discussed how badly I need to be spanked. Sort of the physical reminder of who I am. Probably some more release as well.
I feel bad being ill and I feel bad because I feel I haven't been a good submissive. Daddy mentioned that I'm very "toppy" when I'm sick. He's very patient, and hasn't said anything, but I wonder if He should have.
I get in this mode of controlling everything around me because I have to and then I'm on a roll and can't stop. How do I slow down? How do I control my thinking? This seems to be an ongoing issue with me. Someone needs to help me stop because clearly I can't do it on my own.
I know Daddy will be upset because I'm beating myself up, but I can't help it.
Now I'm thinking about the non-playing again.....I wonder if Dom's get like submissive's when they don't play. Do they go through some sort of mental thing as well? Withdrawal? I'm curious about that.
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